when darkness turns to light

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Have been having dreams recently about working. The worse was this afternoon when I was having my nap and I dreamt of myself working. Was disturbed and woke up, thought could go back to sleep with a better dream but the same scene was in my dream. Happened thrice, till I couldn’t sleep further. Guess it’s the sense of belonging that I have ba. Honestly, if you don’t really know me well, I am a person who will appear that nothing happened till 24 hours after the incident, I will start to feel the pain. No one knows how many times I tear over this incident, maybe due to the emotional character that I am born with. I couldn’t stop tears from wetting my eyes every time someone ask me about it or when I think about it. I don’t know how long this emotional feelings will last but it is really tormenting me. For the past days, I have been feeling so lost, till now and to this very moment. Just felt that something was ripped off me. After this incident, I really learnt to treasure things I have in my life and not regret after it is gone. I also wanna treasure the very important people in my life. I will love all of them and not ask for anything back in return. In the past I always love people but expect the same amount of love to be given back to me from that person. I am going to change. I am going to love those I love but expect 0% return from now on. I give what I can.

So much things happened in my life during these 2 months of holidays. Anything and everything bad that could possibly happen to anyone happened to me all at a go. Family problems, relationship, friendship, work, studies. If there is bound to be a moment when a person will be at the deepest part of his or her life, this is the moment for me. I don’t know who to go to, what to do, how to get back up. I just hope for the better and pray that the rainbow will be exceptionally beautiful after this downpour.

THINGS WILL BE BETTER SOON, I HOPE

i finished typing this entry at 8:44 PM