i really hate this feeling.. i really hate it when i come to a point when i feel that i am really hopeless.. i had this feeling twice and i was condemned on those two occasions.. i got back my chem test and math test today and yesterday respectively.. what can i say? though i wasnt the lowest wasnt me in the chem test for the whole level, i think i got the lowest in my class.. the lowest in the whole cohort was 7 and i got 10.. it doesnt make any difference from being the lowest.. and i got the lowest in the class for math and i guess i was the only one who failed.. if i am not wrong the second lowest was double my score.. i really feel so down when i was sitting there so lost and alone.. people around always tell me i can do it i can do it.. but the fact is i am not as smart as you think.. think again if next time you think i can do it.. when i failed my promos last year, people tell me that maybe i am not suited for college, maybe poly suits me better.. i think sooner or later i will receive consolations like maybe poly is not suited for you, maybe you will do better in ITE.. i can see it coming.. thinking of it really makes me tear.. why do people have smooth journey in their studies and are not satisfied with it? have you tasted the feeling of retaining? for 2 years? i know i shouldnt complain.. i have no rights.. and i should be happy and not think of all these things.. but can it be helped? nothing in my life is smooth.. if you think your life is bad, think of mine.. when i needed help, i was alone.. when i needed someone to confide my problems in, i am just left to tear myself to sleep.. i just want to lead a normal happy life, is it that difficult?